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samson [23 Mar 2009|12:10am] Maybe its the Majorska vodka, or Adele's sweet voice serendating me in the backround.. but I cannot stop crying post comment

Im just like Linus...but with no blanket, [17 Jan 2009|03:27pm] So ive lost my job. I look out my window alot while im online, wishing I was someone else..someone who lived a different life. Im just not sure what to do with my life anymore. Could this be something good? Maybe I needed to get out of that drama zone. Graham left with a girl from the bar last night, he never said goodbye..he just left. Momo pulled me in the bathroom...and I punched the hand dryer..thinking it was a flimsy aluminum one...it was concrete...my knuckle is sore with a cut...men. Honestly Dawson isnt for me (yes we call Graham "Dawson" because he has the Dawson Leery haircut) I just got mad. I thank God that my rage doesn't come out full force when im drunk..i have violent spasms like punching ali in the stomach saying "imma punch you in yo teeff" Im not sure what to do. Honestly im scared. That job was a security blanket for me. Four years at the same place is a long time, but now its gone and im feeling alone. With no car im limited in what I can find, and quite frankly that sucks. Today is Saturday, Dee is on her way to pick me up later, and tomorrow im cleaning my apartment, I figure that if I clean it will make me feel better, like I accomplished something.. I have no choice though, I must pick myself up off the floor and this time make sure my feet stay on the ground. post comment

[09 Oct 2008|09:02pm] Ive been very stressed out lately Im visiting Seth in December ...Im going back to the place that I left my heart and in the process I hope to find myself not sure if your ready for me but im comming back home. post comment

[01 Sep 2008|12:55am] post comment

No words. [07 Aug 2008|07:24pm] post comment

run [30 Jul 2008|03:31pm] Ive lost 5lbs last week. My disorder has gotten severley worse. I hate the fact that I can get triggered so easily and just with a snap of the finger I turn to restricting. Only problem now is that I honestly eat to keep from passing out. The desire to eat is no longer there. I actually am content with how things have been going. As I see the scale drop its a better high then smoking a joint. To get off that for a bit I want to talk about moving. Am I crazy? Honestly, this inst a common thing. Especially a jersey girl born and raised leaving the city life to go to a simpler way of living. For some reason this is what I feel I need to do. For my own piece of mind I need to get of here. I'm so afraid that if I stay here, this is all I am going to know. The only reason why I want to move to Oregon is because I have two really good friend that live there. Haley is so much like me its scary, I know that we could be amazing friends. The past happened, and im so sorry it did..but that isnt what this is about. Im over it, I have no idea why I let myself get wrapped up in something that just wasn't there. Ive moved on from that and all I want is to go back to how it was. November is coming soon. Cole...there is so much to say. Your one of the few people that I can call up after just crying at 4:30 in the morning and make me feel better. You listen to me babble about the stupidest shit, and actually understand me. I know your not going to read this but through everything I appreciate your friendship alot more than I did before. Thank you for just being there for me. So enough mushy gushy shit. I'm coming for a visit in November, not sure the dates yet but as it gets closer...September-October ill know exactly what im doing. Im in the process of getting my license, and just working my ass off and saving a shit load of money...hence the fact that I haven't had a single day off in two weeks...(last week I worked 50 hours!) Hope all is well with everyone! Lisa 1 comment|post comment

email soon to be sent [17 Jul 2008|12:26pm] Vin So this might be kind of lame, but I have a question for ya. Would you want to go to Lisa's wedding with me? Now dont take this the wrong way please, I think your a cool guy and wanted to go with someone that Id have a good time with. Your going to know the majority of the people there, and its a very laid back wedding so dont think you have to get all dressed to the nines. Now I understand if you dont want to go, and please dont think im going to hate you for it or think your a douchebag. Im just not seeing anyone, and would go with my best friend bill but he is currently locked up lol. I just think your a cool person and wed have a fun time. by the way its on the 16th of august. -Lisa post comment

[23 Oct 2007|04:00am] i can def see myself with billy i can def see me leading a godly life again ...i want it so much im willing to break my addictions and live a fullfilling life i can see myself being a youth pastors wife it makes my heart happy to know i have a chance at being happy again post comment

your grace [22 Oct 2007|01:49am] [ mood | content ] im over leading this unholy life im ready to give my life back to jesus i need to break my addictions ...billy is an amazing person... so thanks to god speaking to me through him i read the bible on my own for the first time and it felt amazing im just ready and willing to see where god takes me post comment

grow [15 Aug 2007|04:16pm] the fuck up post comment

[01 Aug 2007|10:55pm] can anyone tell me what the words at the bottom of this piece say? ( Mountains and Miles ) 1 comment|post comment

[30 Jul 2007|10:12am] hi guys... im wondering if anyone has a bigger, clearer picture of ( Read more... ) 1 comment|post comment

[30 Jul 2007|10:05am] hi guys... im wondering if anyone has a bigger, clearer picture of <lj-cut text="<this piece"http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y72/EmoGirlFace/kurt%20halsey/z10kh.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" I want to get this as a tattoo next month for my birthday, I happen to come across a tattoo artist that has done some of his work before... <img src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y72/EmoGirlFace/kurt%20halsey/z11kh.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"(this is the piece the tattoo artist did) so yea, i want just the part of the girl blowing the eyelash and the text reading "eyelash wishes" also does anyone know the name of the piece...thanks guys! post comment

dear daddy [30 Mar 2007|04:17am] post comment

if i could be anything id be medication for you [28 Mar 2007|01:25am] ive been having alot of weird dreams lately about Paul ...they have all been ending with us either getting back together or me wanting us to get back together what the fuck does this mean? post comment

do you miss me..id really like to know [22 Mar 2007|05:38am] [ mood | crappy ] this makes me sick post comment

I wanted to be perfect [21 Mar 2007|12:46am] [ mood | crappy ] So yea...my life... lately everything has been so surreal living in an apartment I honestly wasnt ready to grow up im still not but im being forced to...and its weird -------- hey rob, im trying to stay strong but its hard i still cant believe your gone soon it will be one year since ive done coke remember that night you, greg, stacy, ellen, and zach were in my backyard i made you a P B & Jelly sandwhich...actually i think it had fluff in it as i looked at the coke I said to myself "ill never touch this shit" and look where that got me a shit load of runny noses and fast heartbeats how is heaven? im kinda scared to go there i bet its beautiful though gosh 420 is comming soon... remember last year oh the memories I have ...there all I have left and its not fair. post comment

stop wearing you heart on your sleeve girl [11 Feb 2007|02:10am] so yea my ex of over 3 years came over to my apartment tonight he still has a girlfriend whom he says he does not want to be with right now "ive missed you he says" as he brushes my face with his hand why is he doing this to me? i still care about him i want to be with him but theres not a damn thing i can do i just have to wait and see..if were ment to be then were ment to be im not counting my chickens though.. i always seem to get fucked in the end. post comment

Rob [10 Feb 2007|11:03pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | love it or leave it "put some pep in your step" ] its been hard i know i havent seen you since that day at the diner which seemed like forever ago i know we stopped chilln and before that night at the diner it had been forever since we talked knowing that your gone makes my throat close and my stomache turn to jello knowing that i can never get those times back breaks me apart ive never had to deal with these feelings before i hope heaven is beautiful and the angels are keeping you safe i hope the weed in heaven is amazing and i cannot wait until we meet again post comment

moving day feb 1st [21 Jan 2007|05:09pm] moving into my own apartment is going to be strange having to worry about paying for things and making a house run is strange for me but im excited having my own place will be great living with liz wont be so bad although who knows keep ur fingers crossed post comment

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